I Love You
Banta : Wo Ladki Deaf Lagti Hai. Main Kuch Kehta Hoon, Woh Kuch Aur Hi Bolti Hai.
Santa : Kaise?
Banta : Maine Kaha I Love U, To Woh Boli ‘Maine Kal Hi Naye Sandal kharide hain’
A crow shits on Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
Banta: Koi Fhayda Nahin, Kauwa Toh Udd Gaya ..!
Santa : When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
Jasmeet : I clean the toilet bowl.
Santa : How does that help?
Jasmeet : I use your toothbrush!
Santa : Oh Yaar Main Badi Mushkil Mein Hoon…Meri Biwi Mujhse Ek Pappi Ka Ek Rupeya Leti Hai..!
Banta : Oh Yaar Tu Bada Lucky Hai, Auron Se To Woh 5 Rupye Leti Hai.
Dost Hi Dost Ke Kam aata hai
Santa : Yaar! Main Apna Purse Ghar Bhool Aaya, Mainu 1000 Rs Chahide Si.
Banta : Dost Hi Dost De Kam Aunda Hai, Le 10 Rs, Riksha Kar Te Purse Le Aa.
Santa : Aapne Nurse Bahut Changi Rakhi Hai, Uska Haath Lagtey Hi Mein Theek Ho Gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta Hoon, Thappad Ki Awaaz Mujhe Bhi Sunai Di Thi.
Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.
Phone Ki Ganti
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain.
Santa : Maine Mana Kiya Tha Ke…
Jasmeet : Phone Mere Liye Tha!
Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?
Santa meets his friend Banta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B…!
Banta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!
santa banta were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
santa : This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
santa: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both copied.
The Plane Ride
Santa traveling 1st time in plane going to BOMBAY,
while landing, he shouted : “BOMBAY-BOMBAY”,
air hostess : ” B-silent please “,
santa said : ” OMBAY – OMBAY…..!!!!!!!! “
Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this?
Shopkeeper: Rs 500
Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye.
Banta fell in love
Banta fell in love with a porno star and married her. He got an opportunity to watch one of her movie…. the Movie came to an End.
A bit disturbed and annoyed with what he saw, Banta told himself, “Thank God it was just a movie and not reality.”
Santa fell out
Q: Why did Santa fall out the window ?
A: He was ironing the curtain
Santa Ki Biwi : O ji Car ki speed itani kyo badha di..?
Santa : Are Banoo Car ki break fail ho gayi hai, To accident ho jaye iske pehele ghar pahunch jaate hai.
Santa-Banta cheating krne hi wale the k Teachr agya or pucha:
Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha?
Santa:Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya h..
to tum ne bta dya?
Banta:Nai Sir.. Mene isko danta tha k abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na “TOKYO”:D
Santa ne exam sheet par SUSU karke teacher ke hath me thama di.
Teacher-GADHE ye kya kia.!!!
Santa.-Sir, apne hi kaha tha pahle jo aa rha he wahi krdo…
santa apne father k samne cigrate pi raha tha
Logon ne kaha ke aap apne father ke samne cigratte pi rahay ho?
Santa bola : Wo mera father hai, koi petrol pump thodi.
Interviewer : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa : Simple, Stop imagining.